Stephanie Ford • 11 min read • 12
Today’s post is through Stephanie, another Australian who’s got started learning Russian while teaching in Russia.
In this post she stocks about her experience as a lady dating in Russia while learning the language. This will be a subject we have a great deal to state about really I partly credit with helping me learn the language so quickly (links to my story below) as I had a Russian girlfriend during my time in Kazan which.
Therefore it’s interesting to know another perspective – especially the one that respects the standard values of Russian culture. ??
Russia is portrayed to your western being a cool, difficult destination with a few magical architecture, wide variety vodka shots, and a frontrunner whom dances with bears and who, for many unfathomable explanation, never ever wears a top.
The individuals are portrayed within the countless US movies featuring Russians as spies or people in gangs whom continue steadily to relate to one another solely as comrade (which, incidentally, is really a term that came into English through the Romance languages and it is never a word that is russian! Whom knew?! ).
Whilst it really is cool, vodka truly exists, and calendars featuring A putin that is shirtless and aren’t an issue, you will find one thousand misconceptions about Russian culture and individuals.
After residing right right right here for very long sufficient to catch a good glimpse into Russian tradition, here are the things that i’d like you to learn about Russia and Russians:
1. The greater conventional view of females that persists in Russia has its perks in dating (and day-to-day life)
Before we have stuck into this time, i wish to inform you that i really do not condone any “traditional” view of ladies which involves domestic violence or any type of behavior that devalues, disrespects or degrades the importance for the woman’s free might.
The things I do desire to state is, as being a financially-independent Western girl, I LIKE that Russian males hold doors available for me personally which help me down buses.
Do We expect it? No.
Does it enrage me personally whenever it can or does not take place? Not at all.
Do i’m a small flutter of butterflies in my own belly when my date does it? Without a doubt I Actually Do!
It’s a respectful motion and it indicates that they’re capable of thinking about other people. If nothing else, that is certainly a lot better than having a guy yell “nice arse” at me personally from a car or truck…
It’s a tad bit more complicated away from the dating scene.
I’m grateful when a guy helps me straight down through the train or bus. I’m Australian and I also have always been perhaps maybe maybe not yet comfortable jumping down one thing just a little higher than I’d want it become whenever my landing room is covered in snow and ice, therefore it is truly helpful.
It’s additionally heartwarming to see guys women that are helping prams, shopping bags/trolleys or other things up the stairs, BUT i am going to admit that I’m suspicious of just just what my male 14-year-old pupils are as much as if they insist upon keeping the class home available for me personally. ??
It is additionally just a little bewildering whenever a senior girl rejects my offer to aid her along with her shopping, and then accept the offer associated with next male that is passing.
Russia is certainly not an impairment place that is friendly numerous ways, therefore I do question whether these gestures that being increasingly scrutinized into the West and called down as possibly being “sexist” are borne of prerequisite and consideration, never as due to a far more “traditional” view of females.
The point is, once I remember the battles with the Russians jumping off their seats to assist anyone slightly worse off than themselves, I think the West could learn a thing or two that I had with lazy/tired Melbourne workers for a train seat when I had stitches in my foot and compare it.
2. The greater amount of old-fashioned view of females that persists in Russia comes with its downsides in dating
Therefore, on the dating scene since I moved to Russia (pun intended), I haven’t exactly gamed the system and found perfection here whilst I love the doors that have opened for me.
There are particular objectives which come along side being women in Russia that we don’t fundamentally contribute to. I’m a pretty low maintenance woman, when you look at the feeling myself and my usual hairstyle is “yes, my hair has been washed recently enough and then left to its own devices” that I don’t spend a ton of time maintaining.
We definitely don’t appearance or scent like We invested the past 3 years managing Russian bears, but, when compared to effort place in by Russian ladies, I am able to oftimes be well described as ordinary.
A number of my friends that are male times have actually brought this through to an amount of occasions.
A few of the remarks are innocuous:
“You don’t look or dress such as a Russian”
Most are a bit more overt:
“Have you ever seriously considered having your teeth whitened? ”
But them all proof that my mindset is unquestionably a quirk that Russian men notice.
In Australia, ladies who cannot prepare or whom don’t simply take ownership of housekeeping duties aren’t likely to be ostracized these times. We have firsthand experience and a lot of anecdotes that recommend Russian guys choose women that will tackle these tasks with minder application gratuite a grin.
The guy that is russian I’ve been seeing is pleased to cook. He really makes me elaborate breakfasts whenever we remain.
He could be additionally a lot more than happy to make the backseat on every single other dinner and makes a show of complimenting me personally whenever we prepare.
It’s a small Pavlovian, however for now We find it cute so no damage, no foul.
Another difference that is cultural I’ve noticed is the fact that male-female friendships aren’t common. Pupils within my classes have actually raised their eyebrows more often than once whenever I’ve mentioned spending some time with a friend that is male.
Navigating friendships with Russian guys may be tricky because their motives could be just a little dissimilar to your own personal.
This definitely exists within Western culture, however the undertones take steroids in Russia, where wedding and young ones are hot subjects between the moms and dads of solitary individuals within their twenties that are mid-to-late.